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Team Earth Fare Diary 2002
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The US domestic racing scene is dominated by powerful teams such as Saturn, Mercury, Navigators and 7UP with hefty budgets, trailers full of equipment and serious racing attitude. And then there's Team Earth Fare, with a budget calculated on the back of an envelope, a people mover full of beer, and an attitude of determination not to show the pros up - before they get to the bar. Directeur Fêtif Henry Corley chronicles their adventures.
Team Earthfare's website: www.teamearthfare.com
Index to Team Earth Fare entries
Athens Twilight Criterium
April 27, 2002
By Henry Corley*
Spring has sprung and the scent of blood and stale beer can only mean that we're on the way to the Athens Twilight Criterium in Athens, Georgia! A long-time staple on the Southeastern calendar, the Twilight is known for tens of thousands of rowdy spectators, super fast average speeds and way too many competitors on one course.
I packed my bags and kissed my wife goodbye, knowing that she had either; A.) stashed a dirty diaper in my helmet, B.) loosened the cleats on my shoes C.) flatted my race wheels with a sewing needle or D.) rubbed IcyHot in my chamois. She doesn't much care for my cycling pursuits and likes to constantly harass me.
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We had only reserved our four star euro-pro rooms for Saturday night, so when we decided to go up Friday night we had to find a cheap pay-by-the-hour joint. The sheets were a little moist and the box springs had stains that could have only come from blood or A1 steak sauce... either one was troubling. Jeff and fiancee Kristine grabbed one bed and Spencer and I took the other. My side had a live outlet hanging out of the wall right behind the pillows and every time I shuffled my skeleton lit up like in the cartoons.
The Saturday morning qualifier race saw a tremendous crash on the finish line, one guy scrubbed off the better part of his nose and chin and I'm pretty sure I saw a tooth pop out. It reminded me of popcorn; I thought teeth were held in better than that. Most of our cat 3's managed to make the split for the evening finals.
Following the qualifiers, we all went downtown to eat lunch at the local Earth Fare store. We're milling around with our Earth Fare shirts and caps and the kids working there freaked when we told them they were all fired and we were their replacements. We took some team photos, met some new friends and ate a great meal. I'm sure the security guards will be dumbfounded when they come across the tape of ten grown men stripping naked in the stockroom and putting on red lycra for the photos.
After lunch we wandered over to the course to lay claim to our second turn encampment. With 30,000 spectators on the course by race time, you've got to come early to get the best spot. We loitered about until the officials started closing the course, then sprang into action, setting up our tents and wind trainers and beer coolers. Our friend and Earth Fare National Marketing Director Traci Schneider arrived, then John Lieswyn rolls up, we had asked him to stop by and talk with Traci about stocking Nutra Fig products in the Earth Fare stores. It's amazing how many things you can make with figs. We're hoping it doesn't break a deal if we win the race tonight.
We had teams racing in the Cat. 3 finals, the women's main event and the Pro/1 event. Spencer Lueders animated the 3 finals all evening, but had to hold back on the finish since he had "borrowed" the number of a qualifier that had to leave town before the race (Spencer got caught up behind the now-toothless guy that crashed that morning and missed the cutoff).
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The women duked it out with the top cyclists in the US and our youngest team member and US National Junior Cyclocross Champion, Lauren Trull rode valiantly in such a tough field.
Our Cat. 1 team had a really solid plan in place, which basically boiled down to not crashing and placing well. All was going well until we realized mid-race that some of the Pro teams had also come with a plan. Now this came as a surprise to us, and we had neglected to prepare a contingency, so we ended up just hanging in there. That Euro Directeur Sportif correspondence course I took said nothing about this. I'm looking into getting my money back. Five to go and Mercury is leading the train for the finish, we decide that they're doing a satisfactory job, so I radio to the guys not to come around... hey, we respect the pros and don't want to make them look slow in front of such a huge crowd. Gord Fraser takes it (and now owes us one).
Once we got the bike racing out of the way it was time to do what everyone comes here to do; eat, drink, and be loud. We stood in line at several eateries but just couldn't last the wait. Ward, Tyler, Jasen, Brock and Spencer decided to stay since they had all secured barstools and quickly got busy soaking up all of the available booze in Athens and attempting to make contact with the local college girls. Attrition set in as Jasen was last seen soaking up beer from the bar with his forehead. Tyler and Brock were working the ladies while Ward and Spencer (who I'll call Stincer from now on, in case his wife is reading) tried to make themselves seem younger to improve their odds with the UGA coeds. The evening was a blur, but it ended in Ward almost being abducted by a two pimps from Atlanta when he climbed in the back of a tricked out pink Cadillac to share a drink with their female colleague.
The high-dollar super ritzy team hotel rooms were left nearly unused as half the guys opted for the soft pine mulch around the bushes of the parking lot. I got to stretch out in bed, as "Stincer" disappeared until sometime later in the week, claiming to not have any memory of the weekend.
Post Race Note:
We're performing well and all, but after studying the pros and other US teams, we've concluded that we really need to come up with nicknames for every member, this seems like a critical part of getting faster. I've asked everyone to put some thought into this and we'll have a list together by the next diary installment.
Team Earthfare's website: www.teamearthfare.com
Results from the Athens Twilight Criterium
*Henry Corley is a Cat 3 member of Team Earth Fare. According to the Team Earth Fare web site, his occupation is not specified, he weighs in at 90kg and is 1.8796 metres tall. He describes his strength as "sprinting".
