89th Tour de France - Grand Tour

France, July 6-28, 2002

2002 Tour de France journals

A Podium Girl Gone Bad

Index to all entries

Nationality: USA

For the duration of the Tour de France Podium Girl Gone Bad will be bringing us a unique slant on the world's biggest annual sporting event.

Zee Rooles of Zee Game

Podium girls work in such classy environments.
Photo: © PGGB

Ahhh - I know that you have been dying to know zee answer to this question, and PGGB will help you once again. What happens to all that delicieux champagne that those riders fumble around with, and waste on zee crowd? Or worse, spray upon us Immaculately Groomed Podium Girls! Zut, one time my perfectly hair-sprayed coiffeur was ruined, my long-lash mascara ran down moi cheeks, and zee smile was nearly washed from moi Beautiful Podium Face by some jerk being funny with the bubbly-pop.

But I will now tell you zee truth about zee leftover magnums of dat fine, expensive champagne. My dearies, they are used for Podium Girl Drinking Games. C'est vrai!

Here are some of zee PGDG Rules:

• When you must kiss, kiss zee rider with zee bad breath, take one drink.
• When your beautiful, baby-soft cheek gets zee whisker burn, take one drink.
• If zee rider kiss, kisses the other Podium Girl and not you, take two drinks.
• If zee rider pats your bottom and leaves a dirty handprint, take two drinks.
• When the inept rider screws up zee kiss, kiss and mashes your Beautiful Podium Nose, take three drinks.
• If zee rider steps on your Exquisite Podium Toes, and still you must smile, take three drinks,
• If zee rider whispers a proposition, drink the remaining champagne and run to his room.
• If zee fat, old Le Tour Official whispers a proposition, drink the remaining champagne and run away to Secretarial School in zee Paree.

A Votre Sante,
PGGB

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