Back on track: The Marion Clignet Journal 2004

French track legend Marion Clignet retired from racing in 2000, intending to become active as an advocate for women's sport. But after two years off the bike, and perhaps inspired by the other female champions she's encountered while working as a presenter for French TV, Clignet returned to the velodrome in 2003 to the velodrome in a determined comeback. After a solid year building a foundation, Marion's back competing at thehighest level in 2004.

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Reality bites... hard

March 11, 2004

I started riding a bike to combat against what I've always thought was a temporary disorder that I could eventually change through cycling, sport, willpower, etc.

I looked forward to the day where I wouldn't have to wake up wondering, Gee, did I take my medications this morning, should I take another dose, etc, etc. I started riding, for those who don't know the story, because at the time while I was living in the USA, I had an epileptic seizure and my driver's license was taken away until we found the treatment necessary to control my seizures.

Cycling has always been a sort of therapy and permitted me to believe that one day soon, I'd get through this and wouldn't have to take daily doses of a medication that made me crave sugar, feel tired, have water retention, etc. With competitive cycling, it seemed that my seizures dwindled down to one or two a year... until I stopped and then started up again with a heavy duty program and certainly more stress than before.

Since December 2003, I've had five seizures; once two times in the same day, and one more than 2002. A seizure is pretty much an all-out intensive effort, sort of like a 10 kilometre pursuit. My body convulses, I loose my breath, apparently turn red, white, and blue, and then at times sleep for a full-on 15 hours. It is sort of a knockdown, drag 'em out experience, though when I have something to do afterwards - a race for example - I am able to keep myself going for that effort, before conking off to bed for at least a few hours!

Yesterday, the day I'd been waiting for since my return from Moscow, I had an appointment with my neurologist in Toulouse. Upon consulting with another professor of neurology in Paris, the two decided that the best decision was to change my treatment (that I'd been on for 16 years or so) because it has proved to be inefficient. Their hope and belief is that I will no longer have seizures on this new treatment and will suffer less, if at all, from side-effects. The change will take eight weeks, during which I'll have to take the two meds for some time.

Before sending me off with my new prescription, the doctor had me do another EEG (electroencephalogram), which measures the electricity that your brain puts out and thus the seizure activity. The procedure takes about a half an hour, electrodes are pasted all over your head with a lovely thick paste and you breathe deep, relax, have lights flashed in your eyes - all during which your brain expressing itself on computer paper... like an electrocardiogram.

When it was over, I collected the printout and went back to see the doctor. I saw the spikes on the readout that showed activity. I finally got up my courage and asked, "Will this treatment be permanent? I mean for the rest of my life permanent?"

The doctor looked at me and sighed: "Yes, most likely."

Tears welled up in my eyes though I didn't let them fall. My whole body felt the impact of his words... a reality that I'd never wanted to face just kicked me in the gut... I'd always figured I'd ride through this, I'd conquer it somehow.

I spoke with my mother that evening, explaining that I was going to start the changing medication process that evening and how I was feeling. My mother, who never was an athlete, came out with the following statement: "You've always fought, and always somewhere known that this was reality, until proven different, no? What I mean is that science improves every day - look, they may find a treatment that will stop you from having seizures at all, or maybe they'll find something you won't even have to take medications. Why not?"

Yeah, so why not. Why not keep training my arse off until I get what I want. My best ride ever at the Olympic level and hope that if nothing else, I can have an impact on others everywhere and anywhere who have epilepsy - nothing should get in your way!

And yeah, I will ride through this...