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Mr. Congeniality: The Geoff Kabush diary 2004
Geoff Kabush is no newcomer to the mountain bike racing scene, but his patient and steady approach has made this past season his best yet. Winning the NORBA final and overall series was the pinnacle of the year for the much-loved Canadian rider, whose passion for the sport will see him racing his bike for many more years to come.
December 15, 2004
Heckling at cross nationals
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Well after 2-3 weeks off, a bit of skiing, and a bunch of long coffee shop cruising rides I was starting to miss all the boys on the race circuit - so the US Nationals Cross Champs was the perfect excuse to hit the road again and fit in a little fun, see the boys, and do a bit of heckling. Being a Canuck I wasn't allowed to race so I shoved my three piece denim suit, high-tops, leather hat, and the ever present mullet in a bag and headed for Portland; I also borrowed a nice big orange bollard from a construction zone before I left the island to help amplify the heckling.
First stop on the road trip was Seattle, though. Presidents of the USA happened to be playing a concert on Friday night; guitarist Dave happens to be buddies with Jonny; and so Dave hooked up our group with some all-access VIP passes to the show. They are pretty funny characters, good guys to talk to, and put on a very entertaining show. It was a good night and I also found a wicked sticker backstage on a cooler, "George W. Bush is a Chump-Ass Punk"; it made a nice addition to my "Doper's Suck" shirt.
Next stop was Portland where the rain had been heavy and the course was looking nasty; it made me enjoy the fact that my race season was over and I was just there to heckle. Portland has the biggest cross series in the world, as far as numbers are concerned, and really inject quite a bit of the character in US Cross. Lots of characters were dressed up at the race, lots of them huddling around the "Holy Grail"; the central piece of hardware that the Seattle-Portland cross rivalry revolves around. It is a highly decorated keg that is constantly subject to raids and thievery as both rival cities battle for possession.
Around noon the big races were starting and it was time to go and change into my alter ego, "Deaner" (see Fubar-themovie.com for more info on my inspiration) for some good heckling; I had to make sure no one was getting too serious. Good heckling works best when you dress up and consume a few adult beverages or maybe several. Make sure to do this out of sight of the fun police as the Shimano tent got all their beer confiscated; it works well to shotgun a few in the 'honey buckets' as they are called in the Northwest. Along with my trusty bollard I managed to get a few smiles, get a few teeth grinding and not start any fights while shouting at all my buddies from about 2-3ft; the Jacques-Mayneses were getting close though when I kept calling Andy, Ben, and Ben, Andy.
After the race I focused my energy on tracking down the "Holy Grail". I walked around and I think frightened a few people by whispering, "Have you seen the Holy Grail?" After several false leads I ended up pleading with Brad, the Portland Cross Crusader and organizer of the Nationals, to let me touch the Holy Grail. He couldn't contain himself and popped out a few minutes later flaunting the Grail; "Deaner" made a big lunge for the Grail and Brad and succeeded in sending everyone to the ground and the Grail sliding across the parking lot. It turned into a bit of a scrum and with the help of Eric, Jonny, and a quick lock job by Jake the "Holy Grail" was on its way North from Portland. For all those wondering it is now being held at a highly secure and undisclosed location up North.
I was glad I made the trip because it is always fun to see the racing family once more and I didn't miss doing another race one bit. It also made a good pit stop on my way to Ms Pink's place in Albuquerque where I be spending some good time hanging out and training this winter. So now it is really over and I will live you with an inspiration for the winter that I yelled at everyone out of my orange pilon on Sunday "When the doctor says pain, or the forecast says rain, just keep on giv'n er".
